Get a real job!

I just had a very interesting experience, and I thought those in the writing and reading communities would find it interesting, too.

After I got my kidlet off to school, I headed off to Starbucks with my pink Mac and my story buzzing around inside my head. I arrived, happy to find my favorite squishy chair by the window unoccupied, and my favorite baristas who know me and how to make my Hot Venti non-fat, 7-pump Chai with whip.

Which meant, within minutes, I was happily settled with my iPOD playing the soundtrack from Pirates of the Carribean and the Mummy movies in my ears, my Mac on my lap and my Chai at my elbow. So far so good.

All is well with the world. (aka, writer bliss)

About thirty minutes later, a man came by to ask if the chair next to me was taken. I pulled out one earphone and assured him it was open. He sat, and as people sometimes do, he asked what I was working on so diligently. The usual conversation ensued. It was a novel. Yes, I’m published. No, I’m not self-published. Yes, you can buy my book in a “real” bookstore as well as in eBook (which he considered not a real book.) Yes, my mother, my child and my entire family knows that I write romance and no, they are not ashamed, and in fact are quite proud of me.

So, far, the conversation wasn’t anything I haven’t heard and participated in a thousand times. In fact, I’ve mastered the polite smile I paste on while answering people who so obviously disprove of what I do. After all, it’s their problem, not mine, and me wasting my time ranting will not change their opinion, only cement it.

Then he turned thoughtful, and I almost thought I was safe to pop my earphone back in and delve back into my story, when he asked, “Have you ever thought about getting a real job? You could always go back to school and earn a degree.”

I was so stunned, I forgot about the cool, polite smile, and instead a huge laugh bubbled up until it echoed around Starbucks.

Was this guy for real? He had just judged me purely on my job. Yes, I’m wearing jeans and a nice shirt with strappy sandals and not a business suit, but this is exactly what I would’ve worn to the office in corporate America anyway.

He looked like a mid-40′s professional. Blackberry clipped to his belt, tasteful leather briefcase sitting at his feet, dress slacks, button down shirt and nicely combed hair with just a hint of expensive cologne to complete the package. He also had dark circles under his eyes and confusion was plain on his clean-shaven face.

After I got my amusement back under control, I took out the other headphone, closed my Mac and turned all my attention on him. And by this time, my favorite barristas and a few close-by customers were paying close attention, too.

And this is what I told him. “I didn’t mean to laugh, I’m sorry. And I do truly appreciate you wanting to help me. However, I already have a college degree along with fifteen years of real work experience, the last eight of which were in corporate America technologies where I was making good money, and moving up the chain. But I was also working a gazillion hours a week, tired all the time, stressed beyond what was healthy and wishing I could chuck it all to stay home and write.”

He couldn’t have looked more shocked if I would’ve slapped him. “Don’t you miss the steady paychecks and the security of having a real job?”

Now, I found I could bring the polite smile back. “Do you love your job?”

“Well, it pays the bills and I don’t hate it.”

“Have you ever written a book? Or done something you really love as a job?”

“No.”

“Let me assure you, writing IS a real job. And it’s much harder than it looks. But I enjoy writing more than I’ve ever enjoyed any other job except being a mom, and it’s nearly as hard as that. And as for security, it’s only an illusion no matter what job you’re doing–especially in today’s climate of layoffs and recession. So, you might as well spend your days doing something you love.”

He pursed his lips and studied me for a minute and finally nodded. “You’ve given me something to think about at the very least.”

Then they called out that his drink was ready and he was gone.

I really wonder if he will think about it. But one of the nearby customers who attends the local college came up and talked to me as soon as he left. Apparently, what I had said had resonated with her. She had been majoring in what her parents wanted her to–international business, when she really wanted to go into graphic design. She told me what I had said helped her finally make up her mind to tell her parents and change her major. And she gave a very relieved laugh when I told her my degree is in Instrumental Music Education.  I also told her that when I landed the business jobs, they didn’t care what type of degree I had, only that I had gotten it because it showed I could stick with something…LOL!

I really hope that helped her, and it makes me feel like I was there at that particular time for a reason–even though I know everything happens for a reason.

Things that make you go hmmm.

Has anyone else ever had something like this happen?

11 Responses to “Get a real job!”

  1. Jodi Lynn Copeland Says:

    This is a great post, Tina! And I applaud you for answering so well. Like you I have a “real” job and the degree, too. I work in engineering and I work long hours and have a ton of stress, but for now I have to stay on part time anyway. The thing is those times when I am really tired and must work anyway, I can work on the day (or real) job, but I can’t work on the night (or writing) job. The reason is that writing is harder. It takes more effort, more thought, more concentration, etc. Yes, definitely a real, hard job. I sure hope that guy does think about it, but he probably won’t, sadly.

    ~ jodi

  2. Brit_Blaise Says:

    I don\’t write out of the house often, although I should. I\’d get more done. You handled that well, giving him far better than he deserved. Perhaps your message was never intended for him, but for the big ears listening! Karma.

  3. Tina Says:

    Jodi – thanks for stopping by, and I agree. Writing is harder than my day job ever was, and I can’t do i brain dead, but I often did the day job that way…lol…and did it well!

    Brit – I LOVE writing outside the house :) It’s great energy and removes the distractions of home which sap my productivity.

    Cassie/Tina

  4. Kate Douglas Says:

    A great example of why I LOVE my quiet office on the third floor where no one ever bugs me when I write. I wouldn’t have been able to come up with a good answer beyond something you shouldn’t say in public. Ya done good!

  5. Sue Martin Says:

    Tina–snappy cogent reply!

    Poor sod–someone must have really squashed his daydreams when he was younger.

    I would have loved to ask him (politely)–so how do you think all those books in Borders and Barnes & Noble get written? on a whim? As a hobby?
    Cut and paste?

    My parents luckily supported my college choice–of course my mom wanted me to take something practical–and I took “Ahrt” (nothing smart like commercial art—put the free form splashing paint on canvas kind of art)
    And yet– I ended up at the LA TImes for almost 19 years.
    Go figure.
    Sue

  6. Laurie Schnebly Campbell Says:

    How COOL that you inspired the student to stand up for what she really wanted! I’m with Brit; you and the “get a real job” guy were MEANT to be there at the same time as that girl.

    It’d be cool if she got your name and shows up as a blog commenter one of these days!

  7. Tina Says:

    Hi Laurie! I did give her a bookmark since she said she likes to read romance, so who knows? :) She may show up here sooner or later.

    Cassie/Tina

  8. Kathleen Says:

    Oh, brother! There are so many people out there sucked into roles they hate. We’re the lucky ones! :)

  9. Tina Says:

    Amen Kathleen! :)

    Cassie/Tina

  10. N.J. Walters Says:

    What a wonderful blog post, Tina.

    I love your answer to him. It’s amazing how many people think it’s easy to write a book and get it published. It’s work. Hard work. But if you love it, you don’t mind the work at all.

    You probably made more than one person think about their life.

    That’s the reason I quit my “real” day job three years ago to stay home and write. I have a much better quality of life. Plus, all the hard work I’m putting in is for me.

  11. Carolan Ivey Says:

    Were you talking to my husband? LOL

    I wish you would. I’ve said basically the same thing to him and it falls on deaf ears. *sigh*

    I made the decision about 18 months ago to work exclusively from home. After more than 16 years of contract writing, commuting to wherever the jobs are, I figured I’ve paid my dues and proven myself. If clients want my skills badly enough, they’ll work with me. If not…[shrug] I’ll find another contract.

    There are some lean times, but I’ve never NOT had some kind of contract work going since then.

    It’s all about taking the leap, and trusting that the net is there to catch you.

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